What’s Missing from Most Weight Loss Programs?

Is losing weight just a matter of eating better, exercising more and getting enough rest?

These are three basics that in the right combination might do the job, at least in the short-term.

When it comes to dieting, despite an estimated 100 billion dollar annual weight loss industry, most people cannot seem to keep off the weight that they lose. Two studies revealed that 95% of people who lost weight on a diet regained that weight plus more, within 1 to 5 years.

A change in lifestyle that does include a commitment to the right quantity and quality of food, daily movement and adequate rest, will increase the number of people who maintain their weight loss over the long-term. But many people struggle to sustain those lifestyle changes.

So what are the missing ingredients?

If you are hoping that what I am going to say will give you the quick-fix that you have been looking for, you wouldn’t be alone. We live in a culture that has an immediate gratification attitude. But here is the truth – the missing ingredients require time and patience. If you are willing, then the reward for your effort goes far beyond weight loss. The feedback that I receive from clients consistently speaks to the inner peace, self-respect, sense of control over their life, stress reduction, and overall health in mind, body and spirit that happens along with the weight loss.

Here are the three missing ingredients:

1/ MIND – How strong is your mind muscle?

Through years of sensory input and memory storage, your brain is programmed to constantly be processing thoughts. If the thoughts that you repeat to yourself, consciously or unconsciously, are negative, then that negativity will get reflected in your life and your body. It is imperative that you learn to recognize the beliefs that are subconsciously driving your thinking. Once you recognize what your beliefs are, you can use any combination of powerful tools to help you shift them to be more true to your desires. Being able to observe your thoughts and override your programmed beliefs is a key to lifetime weight loss.

2/ EMOTION – How easily can you shift from a state of tension to a state of ease?

Emotions are a basic and a passionate part of being alive. Yet emotional eating is a primary culprit in the struggle to keep weight off. Recognizing and releasing emotions is a practice. With practice you can develop the confidence to know that you can handle any emotional situation with ease. When you understand the process and have the tools that you need at hand, it is a far less scary proposition. Without the understanding and tools, you may not know how to recognize what you are feeling or how to deal with your emotions even when you do recognize what they are. Food, alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs are the ways of distraction from what is really going on. Your feelings won’t hurt you. But the resistance to them will, as it will keep you trapped in the cycle of using food or other substances to stuff down your truth.

3/ SOUL – How connected are you to nourishing yourself at a deeper level?

You know that you are nourishing your soul when you feel passionately alive. You are fully present, with no place else you would rather be in that moment. Recognizing what feeds your soul and incorporating more of that into your daily life has the potential to increase your trust in the order of things, to strengthen your sense of purpose, to give you more reason to be and do your best. Feeding your soul might happen from the smallest happenings, like offering or being offered help by a stranger, seeing the first bluejay of the season, making someone laugh, or listening to beautiful music. Or it might mean engaging in creative acts like dancing, writing poetry, playing an instrument or singing in the shower. Knowing what feeds you at a deeper level gives you a place to turn to when you choose not to eat. Engaging in those soul-nourishing activities will give you the strength to say no to food and yes to your other senses.

Get out of the kitchen fast

Do you ever find yourself at the end of a good healthy meal, no longer hungry but wanting to eat something else?

Here is one idea to help you break the habit of eating more than you need.

GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! Go do something that entices your mind in a different, but encompassing way.

If your mind is refusing to leave, then take a small amount of what you are craving, put the rest away, make a deal with yourself that you can eat it when you get to another room and then leave the kitchen and eat it just before you get involved in something else that occupies your mind and feeds your soul.

P.S. This works best if you do as much as you can of your kitchen clean-up before you sit down to eat your meal.

Try it and let me know how it works for you, or what challenges you run into.

What Makes You Beautiful?

This week has been one for reflecting on beauty.

On Sunday, I settled into the overstuffed chair in the living room to read from the book, Beauty: Rediscovering the True Sources of Compassion, Serenity, and Hope by John O’Donohue, that a beloved client had gifted me with. From it I quote – “When we say from our heart to someone: ‘You are beautiful’, it is more than a statement or platitude. It is recognition and invocation of the dignity, grandeur and grace of their spirit.”

At the gathering at my sister’s in the evening, I was in a touching conversation with a friend including a discussion about her beauty. This woman radiates the loveliness of a compassionate and kind spirit. And she is blessed with the genetics of a classic Italian beauty with high cheekbones and almond eyes. Yet still she cannot accept herself as beautiful and talked about wanting to get her nose fixed.

A study commissioned by Unilever, the company behind the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty reviewed the attitudes of 3200 women from 10 countries regarding beauty.

Only 2% identified themselves as beautiful.

How do we define beauty, culturally and individually? Is it measured by the ideas of perfection that are portrayed by inauthentic images portrayed in advertising, movies and television? To some degree, this seems to be the case. In this study, more than two-thirds (68%) of women strongly agree that “the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can’t ever
achieve.” Women over 30 tend to believe this more strongly than women 18 to 29.

I love this Campaign for Real Beauty that Unilever has initiated. It is brilliant marketing but it is also using its power to wield an important message. Maybe it will be the beginning of a paradigm shift that needs to happen in the media.

Media aside, we all need to do what we can on an individual level to create beauty within and without. In the same study mentioned above, when asked what makes them feel beautiful, 92% of women stated ‘being loved’, 89% said “doing something that you really love to do” and 82% claimed that “taking good care of themselves” made them feel beautiful.
Fortunately, whatever we were given genetically, we have control over these aspects of our lives.

I invite you to ask yourself the same question: What makes you feel beautiful?

Whatever it is – do more of it. Our world needs more of the ‘grandeur and grace of your spirit’ and you need to feel more of your own beauty.

Survive vs. Thrive

In the work that I do with clients, we spend chunks of time identifying and re-establishing their beliefs. The entire process is beyond the bounds of this blog, but I want to tempt the palate of your mind by inviting you to pay attention to your perceptions. Perceptions offer you insight into what you believe and give you a vantage point for changing them.

Why bother you might ask?

Beliefs, and the perceptions that belie them, are what drive the thoughts, feeling and actions that ultimately determine the outcome of our lives.

Recognizing that we have choice in how we perceive empowers us into possibilities that we may not have considered before.

There are endless perspectives through which you can view yourself, others or a situation.

However, I have categorized perspectives as being ones that either help you just survive or a position that helps you thrive. Lets take a look at the difference between survive and thrive.

Survive is about endurance and perseverance under extreme circumstances. It is a good thing to have skills that allow us to survive but as a state of mind it is not an ideal way to live our daily life. It leaves us with a sense of having little or no choice.

Thrive on the other hand is about prospering, flourishing. A healthy and light body and mind depend on perspectives that thrive. In thrive we have an abundance of choice.

Consider what it is like to look through the lens of survive vs. thrive.

Viewing Thru the Lens of Survive vs. Thru the Lens of Thrive
Blame vs. Self-responsibility
Defensive vs. Receptive
Opinionated vs. Open
Arrogant vs. Humble
Fearful vs. Trusting
Resistant vs. Willing
Perfection vs. Excellence
Self-doubt vs. Confidence
Hatred vs. Forgiveness
Rigid vs. Flexible
Anxious vs. Calm

Shifting perspectives is an experiment in viewing differently.
Identify the survival perspective that you are viewing a situation through. Then try viewing it through the lens of its opposite, or another thrive perspective.
Look at it strictly as an experiment in viewing differently. What do you experience?

To Supplement or Not to Supplement (that is the question).

Have you ever wondered with all the supplements offered on the market with claims of weight loss, if any of them really work?

In a nutshell, no supplement is going to work over the long term if you ignore the quality and quantity of food that you are eating. So start with your food intake. Eat consistently (every 2 ½ to 4 hours) throughout the day, including breakfast. Get plenty of protein (lean chicken, fish, eggs, beans, some dairy and lean meat), vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, seeds and purified water to support the biochemical needs of your body and brain.

Then, when you are on your way to practicing healthy eating, you could greatly benefit by the support of some of the scientifically-researched nutritional supplements. (I say practicing because it takes time to change our dietary lifestyle, so even if you are moving in the right direction you could get added benefit from supplements.)

Weight loss is connected to the balancing of hormones and neurotransmitters. As we age, all of the important metabolism-regulating hormones diminish, making it harder to maintain our ideal weight. Finding your ideal food and supplement regimen is dependent on your specific biochemistry, and is unique to each person. However there are three supplements that have are on the market that I wanted to share with you. I have gotten good results with them. All have been generally been proven safe (read the cautions with each one) and can benefit a cross-section of the population. However if you have any questions about whether you would personally benefit from one or more of them, feel free to send me an email or give me a call.

1/ High Alpha Whey Protein – I find that almost all of the people that struggle with their weight have some issue with blood sugar regulation and brain neurochemicals. This is a concern for many health issues, including the storage of fat and extreme cravings. Eating frequently and including protein in each of your 4 – 6 meals, is the first and most dramatic step to stabilizing these issues. Due to busy lives, most people benefit by having a quick protein snack in the form of a drink that can be prepared in a shaker cup. I recommend Brad King’s Ultimate Protein or another high-alpha whey, I scoop per serving (12.5 grams of protein). It is the most absorbable whey and has glycomacropeptides that will support the production of the hormone CCK which promotes a feeling of satiety. Caution: Although whey protein is 95% lactose-free, be cautious if you are highly sensitive to dairy.

2/ Hoodia Gordonii – Hoodia is the now-famous (after exposure on 60 minutes and Oprah) cactus from South Africa that has been used for generations by the bushmen of the Kalahari to suppress their appetite on long treks. Research estimates Hoodia to be up to 100,000 times as potent as glucose (blood sugar) in sending a signal to the brain that the body is in a state of satiety. It also contains a host of trace and major minerals which contribute to tonifying and energizing the body. The key is to get an authentic variety of Hoodia as there are a lot of imitations on the market. I like the American company NOW. www.nowfoods.com and the Canadian company Flora. www.florahealth.com Both companies can provide the certification to its authentic South African origins. Recommended dose is anywhere from 400 to 3200 mg. per day. Start at a lower dose and work up to where you get the most benefit. Best to take it 1 hour before eating. Make sure that you drink lots of water in the day because it is also a thirst suppressant. Caution: Do not expect this to do anything more than suppress your appetite to help in reducing intake. If you continue to eat large amounts due to psychological attachment to food, it will not work. Also, it can take up to 2 weeks to notice its effects.

3/ 7-Keto DHEA – 7-Keto is a metabolite of the youth-supporting, metabolism-inducing hormone DHEA. It raises the activity of the active thyroid hormone T3, which raises your heat producing, fat-burning capacity. In a study of 30 participants, all doing the same amount of exercise and eating the same number of calories, the 7-Keto group lost substantially more weight and percentage body fat (average 6.34 lbs and 1.8% body fat) in 8 weeks than the placebo group. It is meant to boost a sluggish metabolism when used in conjunction with good eating and exercise. It increases the efficacy of good eating and exercise by 3X. Recommended dose is 100 mg. 2X per day away from food. NOW has a good 7-Keto. Caution: Although purported to be safe, we do not yet know the long-term effects of 7-Keto, so it would be best to discontinue use periodically and only use when in need of a metabolic boost. 7-Keto has been shown to increase heart palpitations and headaches in some individuals. As in any supplement, start slowly and pay attention to its effects on your body.

Is Your Environment Supporting You?

When I was 24, I wasn’t happy with my work, my relationships (or lack of them), nor my body. I decided it was time for change. So I took off to Africa, completely immersing myself in a different environment for 6 months. That knocked me out of my old patterns. When I returned from Africa, I made a decision to get out of the restaurant business, to study photography, and I moved from Vancouver to Victoria.

My environment changed dramatically and so did how I felt about myself. As a result, I lost the extra 25 lbs. I had been carrying since puberty. Granted, I was young, childless, with few responsibilities beyond taking care of myself. Still, this part of my story makes a clear point.

When you are looking to create big change in your life, you have to consider whether your environment is supporting you to live that change. Ignoring this aspect in your game of health and weight is a recipe for failure.

Look at your environment in relation to the physical space that you live and work in, the food and the objects that are in that space, the people that you are in relationship with, the way that you think and feel when you are in your space.

What works to support the goals that you have?
What needs to change?

Your environment reflects who you have been.
What will it need to look like for you to become who you want to be?

The Inner Life of the Cell

My sister unknowingly inspired me by sending me an incredible 3-minute video. You have to see it. It is amazing.

It is a reflection of the incredible life that is going on inside any one of the 60 billion white blood cells of our bodies. You will see via animation a scientifically accurate depiction of the inner life of the cell.

It is extraordinary. It is beautiful. It is vibrantly alive.

http://aimediaserver.com/studiodaily/videoplayer/?src=harvard/harvard.swf&width=640&height=520

Obviously the life of the cell is not something that most of us, unless we are molecular biologists, think about. That’s all the more reason to watch this film. If this is the energy that is going on inside each of the 60 billion white blood cells and there is some other but similar energy going on in the rest of our 10 trillion cells, that’s a whole lotta energy that we normally don’t pay any thought to.

What if you did think about your body as this amazing miracle of creation? What if you watched this video every day at least once to remind your self? Would that change your actions?

Given that actions follow feelings and feelings follow thought, if you think about your cells as a miraculous work of creation, does it not follow that you would feel differently about your body, and thus be more inclined to act differently towards it?
In theory and with practice this does work.

However I am really really curious about how this film, “The Inner Life of the Cell” affects you. So I invite you to offer your response to the question, Are you inspired by The Inner Life of the Cell? here.

One other cellular offering is what I call my ‘Happy Cells’ song. I am putting my inclination towards silliness (which we could all use a little more of) on the line here. This is a song I learned over 10 years ago and have been singing ever since. I challenge you to sing it and not feel happier for doing so.

It is sung to the tune of the southern song, “(Momma’s Little Baby Has) Shortenin’ Bread”

It goes like this:

Every little cell in my body is happy,
Every little cell is happy and well.
Every little cell in my body is happy,
Every little cell is happy and well.

I’m so glad
every little cell
in my body
is happy and well

Repeat over and over until you can’t help but feel happy!!

Sing this in the shower, in the car, with your kids, whenever you are feeling low and need a boost. It is a guaranteed mood elevator.

About the Campaign for Real Beauty

I found myself on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty website www.campaignforrealbeauty.com where I was moved to tears by the newest TV commercial created for this campaign. The music and the images are emotionally powerful. But the larger part of my emotional response was from recognizing that a large company with enough dollars to reach a global market cared enough about their influence to want to deconstruct and reconstruct our ideas of beauty. In a world so heavily influenced by media and advertising, the bold move by Unilever (the company manufacturing Dove) might initiate a paradigm shift.

A number of people writing about the campaign have noted the incongruence between the message of women being beautiful as they are and then selling them firming and anti-aging products. I do agree with the incongruence. However, the campaign is a worthy one in itself for exposing the truth behind the media’s influence on the attitudes of real women, young and old. And I think we have to be realistic in the balance between a company’s reason for existing and how they wield their influence. From a perspective of corporate integrity, I think this is about as good as it gets. Despite the minor incongruence, I applaud them for the brilliance of the campaign as we are desperate for the message that they are offering: that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colours, and that beauty is founded on something more than physical appearance.

In the research study that Unilever commissioned that preceded the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, 3200 women in 10 different countries were surveyed to discover their perceptions of beauty and physical attractiveness, both their own and the larger concepts of it. I was so fascinated by the results of the study, that I brought my computer to the dinner table and shared the details with my partner Barry. You can review the study at http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/uploadedfiles/dove_white_paper_final.pdf

The top three measures of beauty were happiness (86% of the women surveyed listed this as important), kindness (84%), and confidence (82%). Although physical attributes were listed as important, the consensus was not as high. The appearance of the skin was listed as important to 67% of the women, overall physical appearance to 64%, facial appearance to 62%, and body weight and shape to 58%. From the study, they state “Importantly, women who are more satisfied with their own beauty are significantly more likely than those who are less satisfied to think that non-physical factors, including happiness, confidence, dignity, humor, intelligence and wisdom contribute to making a woman beautiful.”

Furthermore the most crucial affects on how beautiful a woman feels are attributed to ‘being loved’ (92%), “doing something you really love to do” (87%), and “taking good care of yourself” (82%).

It is apparent that us women are not blind to the wider dimensions of beauty. Being bombarded by media imagery that creates an unrealistic statement of ‘normal’ makes it challenging to consider ourselves beautiful. Only 2% of the women identified themselves as such. But it is also our responsibility to go beyond what is imposed on us externally and take control of our response to it.

I wonder though, what it would be like to be surrounded by images of women and men who are less than ‘perfect’ physically but exude grace, dignity, humour and vulnerability. I love considering the potential power of this possibility.

In conclusion, the research paper states:

“Just as women lay some of the blame for the perpetuation of inauthentic beauty on popular culture and the mass media, they also believe that that the latter can be a force for reconfiguring the former so that true beauty becomes the new standard – with unprecedented power to open minds and move emotions.

True beauty will not be driven by theory or ideology, but by its resonance in the hearts and minds of those who encounter it. This study has given women the opportunity to speak about what it can be. However, its articulation is the obligation of those who speak to women around the world about their beauty every hour of every day – in the visual images and words of the mass media. Their challenge is to know true beauty when they feel it and to faithfully represent it in the ways in which they speak about it.”

A personal reflection

I have a rare night alone. My partner Barry and my son Sasha are both out.

As I contemplate how to spend the evening, I am reminded of my single, childless days.
Many solitary evenings would have left me feeling lonely and unloved and frequently I turned to food and TV to avoid my pain.
Years later, I filled my many solitary evenings with music, dance, photography and writing. No time or desire to eat. I was driven to discover who I was, what my emotions were all about, what I was capable of becoming and doing.
Now… I am neither driven to dive deeply into my creativity, nor to avoid my feelings by eating or watching television. I am grateful to discover that I am peaceful with whatever the evening holds in store – first a candlelight dinner for one, where I realize that I am really not all that interested in eating. My sense of taste takes second place to all the other senses.

I stroke Ellie, my cat. She is consistently inspiring as a model of sensuality. The way she looks in my eyes, curls into my touch, squeaks her delight, and then surrenders her belly for loving.

Listening to U2. Nostalgic. Makes me dance, sing and rock as I write. Music fills an empty space with hints of beauty. It brings me joy and comfort, far more so than food or television ever could.

In the bathroom, I stare into the mirror and do an assessment. I recognize that I like myself, yet still think that my belly has too much fat and my hips are too narrow and then I laugh at the ludicrousness of my judgments. Despite all my work to love my body, old thoughts die hard. Now though I find peace in the realization that my judgments ultimately mean nothing. It is how I conduct myself on a day to day basis that matters.

After years of focused intention I have created a deep and lasting friendship with my self and my body that I can savour. And I am reminded that all the hard work brings the fruition of now being paid to help others do the same.

Recipe – Quinoa Sesame Salad

I love the combination of grains or vegetables with sesame oil. As with any oil, look for one that is unrefined in dark bottles to preserve the quality of the fatty acids.
Ideally you want to make this salad at least 2 hours ahead of when you are going to serve it so that it can cool down and the flavours can meld together. It could also be served as a hot dish just by replacing the cucumbers with a vegetable that does well with heat, such as spinach, shittake mushrooms or zucchini (in which case I would lightly saute the vegetables before adding them to the quinoa).

Serves 2 as a main or 4 as a side dish

1 c. quinoa
1 2/3c water
1/4 tsp unrefined sea salt
1/2c. diced cucumber
1/2c. diced orange pepper
2 tbs. minced chives
1 tb. minced cilantro
1 tb. unrefined sesame oil
juice of 1/2″ fresh ginger, finely grated
1/2 tsp. tamari (naturally aged Japanese soy sauce)
salt and cayenne pepper to taste

Prepare the quinoa as in the recipe on this blog, Simmered Quinoa.
Add all the ingredients to the grain and refrigerate for a minimum of 2 hours.